Screen Time

A while ago I read an article on the BBC about a home-educated kid who seemed to spend most of his life playing computer games or watching TV; what do you have to say about that? 

I’d say that too many children whose parents take them out of school to be home-educated nowadays aren’t passionate about home-educating their children or they don’t have the necessary time to devote to it – they don’t want their kids in school, but they don’t really want to home-school either. It’s the fault of the education system and the government, not of home-schooling.  

So, do your children spend their time playing computer games and watching TV?  

Quite the opposite. When I started home-schooling, I was very strict about having no screens; my eldest children didn’t watch anything, they didn’t play computer games, they didn’t use the internet and they didn’t have mobile phones.  

Oh, my giddy, podcasting, google-addicted aunt. That’s horrific. 

Thank you for your feedback. You aren’t the first to react like that.  

I’m not surprised. Have they ever recovered from the trauma? Did they have any friends? How did they learn about anything?  

Books. Going out. Museums. Activity days. Conversations. Home-schooling activities and meets. After-school clubs. Lessons. Playing games. Role-playing. Meeting friends. Keeping pets. Gardening. Hiking. Sports. Audiobooks. You know; the numerous and varied ways children can learn without being addicted to lights flashing on a flat screen.  

Isn’t it a form of social abuse, to deprive children of screen time? 

As a society, we’ve only just begun the conversation about screens in childhood; the jury is still out about what is the ‘right’ amount of screen time and what ‘good’ screen time is and as parents we can only do what we feel is right for our families. 

Surely there’s room for balance though? There are excellent resources online, like… 

You’re going to say nature documentaries, aren’t you? 

I was. How did you know? 

Whenever anyone wants to sell the idea of screens, they bring up nature documentaries. I must mention, that I do now use screens in home-schooling and my younger children do watch DVDs (including nature documentaries, you’ll be happy to hear), YouTube, and they play the odd computer game.  

Phew. Why did you change? A guilty conscience? A sudden attack of sanity? 

Neither. It was a mixture of things. Firstly, as my eldest children grew up they needed phones – they were heavily into road cycling and I wanted them to be able to call if they needed help. As their educations moved away from play, activities and exploring, to studying and exams, the internet became an invaluable resource that I’d have been a fool to ignore. When they started college, they needed the internet to take part in lessons. And, finally, they wanted to watch films, sports, podcasts, documentaries etc. and some of them wanted to play games online; I couldn’t control their choices when they were adults.  

So, you didn’t have a choice? 

No, not really. Of course, once my younger children saw their older siblings with screens, they joined in and I couldn’t stop it. But, in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to go back to having no screen time at all.  

Another home-schooling U-turn? 

Absolutely. What we do now is have restricted screen time and I think my children have benefitted from it.  

Do you have TV? 

No, we don’t have a TV license because we don’t need one, and we don’t have Netflix, Disney Channel or whatever else it is people watch now there are more than four channels and TVs can be hung on the wall.  

Computer games? 

Only educational ones for my younger children, where there is some benefit – like Typer Island, Word Shark or Typing of the Dead.  

DVDs? 

Yes, educational ones, clean films and cartoons. When they do watch DVDs, I make sure it’s a social event – so we’ll all sit and watch together. I want watching a DVD to feel like a treat rather than being routine; something they take for granted. 

The internet? 

Yes, for education. My children have watched Shakespearian plays online, or clips for their GCSEs, as examples. They like playing chess on chess.com. Also, they need to be able to use emails, Office etc. and some of them have taken courses online.  

How do your older children feel about their screen-free years? 

Their years in a cultural and social void of my making, you mean? Their abnormal childhoods of digital poverty? 

Yes.  

One son has kept it up. He does his own thing and is not afraid to stand out. Another does, in my opinion, watch too many TikToks and the like, although social media has helped him strengthen his relationships with his close friends who live in other cities – so that’s been a positive. My older daughters have a lot of self-control and only use the internet for learning – which is their decision. I know my eldest sons stood out when they started college, and I wouldn’t want my younger children to repeat that experience, so I’d give them smartphones when they are 16, but I’d want them to leave them downstairs and switch them off most of the time.  

Do they have anything good to say about their screen-free years? 

Surprisingly; yes. As they’ve moved through life, they’ve realised that their peers who had unrestricted access to screens aren’t better off – the reverse. They do recognise that having hobbies and being active are better than wasting years in the rabbit hole of screens. The lure of screen-addiction is always there, but it’s infinitely stronger for children who were raised with daily screen time.  

One final question – would you recommend other parents give their children screens or not? 

I’d say, as I say with just about everything else, it has got to be a personal judgement call and something every family has to reflect on and decide for themselves. I’ve seen so many cases now where older children have rebelled against very strict parenting, perhaps resenting parents whose favourite word was “no”. Especially if the child felt isolated from their peers as a result. By having a large family, my children’s social needs were largely taken care of at home and we managed to build a network of like-minded parents so they didn’t stand out, but if my children had gone to school, or if I’d had fewer children, I probably would have given them screens to help them make friends and fit in.  

Katie Holden